My Favorite Place

I remember it very clearly, almost as if it had happened just yesterday. It was 9pm but still, through the windows of my aunt’s car, I could see that the streets were humming with activity. I felt the cold caress of the breeze on my cheeks as people walked briskly by, rushing home to spend Christmas with their loved ones.

As the car drove slowly into the heart of the city, I saw the landscape begin to change. I craned my neck to look up at the structures--all different shapes and sizes, each of them exuding their own unique character--and my eyes widened with wonder.

Then, it happened.

"Din,” said my aunt in an excited whisper “look to your right, will you?” As if on cue, the row of buildings to my right turned on their lights in a blaze of glory. Wide-eyed, mouth agape with wonder, I gazed at the amazing sight. Lights danced in a kaleidoscope of colors and the air was suddenly filled song. The buildings, the lights, the very air I was breathing--all of it was magical!

It was as if the fairies had dipped their wands in light and sprinkled dust all around me! I was three, and a sheltered little girl from a far-off rural area--I had never seen the likes of this before! Back home, even during Christmastime, there was nothing even close to this: It was magical.

Giddy with joy, I jumped up and down, hitting my head on the roof of the car--ignoring the slight bump swelling up on my forehead. I was so happy, I was almost in tears. I’ll never forget that moment: Makati City during Christmas.

I can still feel the hum of excitement I felt then until now. Today, when Christmas comes around, I make sure to fill my home with love and light. I want my children to grow up with the same warm happy feeling that a magical Christmas can bring.

When a mother misses..

I've been checking on some of my friends Facebook account and saw one notification. One of my friends celebrated friendship with my son. I fell silent. It's been almost 3 months since my son left and went to his dad's. I think he is decided in staying there for good. 
I am in tears. Last time I felt this pain was when one of my sons died. 
All these years I've faced challenges that many would admire me for being strong. Brave. What they don't know is I am always terrified. 
I am afraid of being alone. I fight because I know I have my children with me. I am strong because I know I have them. But now that I lost another one, it is somewhat devastating. 
Him being with his abusive father makes it even worse. 
I know my ex uses this as an advantage against me. He uses this to make even. 
This is the only way he can hurt me again. I can only imagine that smirk on his face. Thinking he has won. 
I miss my son. I miss him so much. It is so hard for me to go on with my everyday life having this hole inside of me getting bigger by the day. 
I would always pray that he misses his mom as well. 
That somehow he would even talk to me. I really couldn't understand. We never have any argument or misunderstanding. 
He just had a fight with his sister and he decided to leave. He decided to stay with his dad instead. 
I never had a say on it. Suddenly it felt as if I lost my right to be his mother. 
I feel useless. I feel like I'm not good enough.
I still have 4 of my kids with me but it doesn't feel the same. 
My heart will always ache for the sons I have lost. 
Somehow I still manage to keep the fight. But it's the hardest thing ever, to go on every day knowing you already lost 2 of the most important person in your lifetime. 

Hit or Miss...
In life, there will always be a time that we would have to make a decision. A make or break thing.
A choice that would change our lives.
Sometimes we tend to complicate things because of different fears
Fear of rejection, fear of not being accepted, fear of failing or fear of being different.
Most of the time we refuse to choose because we are overpowered by these fears.
So many things that need to be considered before choosing.
We tend to complicate things.
We over think and then we complain.
I would always hear so many people complaining about their work, neighbor, the situation they are in but refuse to do something about it.
We refuse to be responsible.
We refuse to take ownership of our responsibility.
We refuse.
That is the reason why we are neglected and sometimes miserable.
We tend to blame others for our misfortune failing to see that it is us who are at fault.
We refuse to take a leap of faith.
We refuse to choose and so it is us who refuse to make it...

Why I Hustle

Is it really worth it?

Most people would ask themselves this...

I've been working in the BPO industry for about 10 yrs and it was never easy. No such thing as an easy account. The pressure of staying up late, travel and stress.

Being a working mother leaving my children just to be able to go to work is aggravating especially when your kids are clingy. It would always risky getting a help or nanny.

I live in the province but the opportunity to be able to earn enough for 4 kids are slim. I got no choice but to work in Metro and had to spend money on a house I rent in Batangas for the kids and Makati.

To sum it up, it was hard. Really hard. Working from home would really be a great way to do it. Being able to watch over the little ones while you earn enough for them.

No more traffic, no more dual rents, no need to spend money on the dress code.

I had the luxury of spending Noche Buena with my family but not missing out on work. It seems about time for working from home be open to everyone. Not just call center agents but all walks of life. As long as you want to learn, you are determined and willing to do the extra mile then you deserve a shot.

This is how we hustle.

Protect your dream

I was so excited. I would have a chance to have a coaching session with one of the legends in the writing industry in our country. She was very famous in the freelancing world.
I feel so lucky. Then we discuss what I do. I asked tips on what are the things I need to look into as an aspiring writer.
I was so amazed hearing her give me tips and pointers. I can barely take note of what she was saying.
Then she asked what I do at the moment. I was so excited about telling her about what I have achieved on my page.
The things I have accomplished. Then  I heard one of the saddest lines coming from her.
She said, "What is your purpose?" "Why do you do what you do?"
I said, "I wanted to be able to provide for my kids, being a single mom and all." and she answered, "Well, you ain't gonna earn doing the workshop. There's no money there."
My heart sank. I felt I was swallowed by a void. I fell into oblivion.
My dreams were shattered somehow.
I love teaching. I love interacting with people who come asking for help. I found my calling in that workshop. I was even thinking of putting up an agency so I can assist them after they completed the workshop.
Everything was planned and then it all felt nothing.
I was devastated quite upset. It made me confused. How is it that what I love the most doing can be wrong?
Then I decided to consult my mindset coach. I told her everything.
I almost cry and she was calm she said "Stop love. One thing you need to do is PROTECT YOUR DREAM".
I cried hearing this. I never felt so relieved. Felt like an angel had taken me into her arms. 
Iknow it sounds too much but she was right. I have to protect my dream. I got everything planned out. Who are they to say what we can dream or not?
Who are they to say what we can't do?
Now I understand that in fulfilling my dreams we will encounter people like this. I am now prepared and ready to take on the challenge.
Next time I will hear someone tells me I can't do it or not make it. I'll close my eyes, put my hand on my chest smile and say.."watch me"